The Diaries of a Fruitcake in a Half Baked World!

What do you do, when love comes along and offers your heart a chance to move on?

There are no guarantees, no safety nets, just trusting your heart and taking that first step.

Second chance? Do you take it and fly? Or do you ignore it and tell yourself it isn’t time because you have other things going on? Maybe you think you don’t deserve a chance at something that could be amazing because you don’t want to drop your guard and possibly be hurt again.  It’s safer to not have loved than to love at all and get hurt, right?

WRONG!

We all know love or relationships are hard work.  Having to learn personalities all over again and hoping that they aren’t like the others that didn’t work out before them.  Every relationship that has gone sour, hurt. You know what you don’t want in the next person that is given a chance to get to know you…but you aren’t giving them a chance, you are giving yourself a chance.

A chance to be happy, to enjoy someone’s company, to laugh, hold hands, feel a part of someone’s life and to be hurt. To argue, not always agree with someone, need space to miss that person, someone to run to when you wanna cry but be connected to someone, non the less. No pain, no gain…right? It is so true when you have found someone or someone has found you and there is a connection.

RelationSHIP

It seems to be the most un-sturdy and uncertain vessel to navigate through any ocean of the heart. While the warm winds of prevailing love and romance blow favorably through its sails, this unseaworthy vessel steers ahead with pride and promise. But upon hitting rough and stormy weather, too often the relationSHIP flounders and sinks.

How do you know if you are in a relationship? Well, the definition for relationship is a state of connectedness between people, especially an emotional connection.

What is an emotional connection in a relationship? It’s something that goes beyond just the physical. It’s being able to relate to a person on an emotional level. To be able to share your feelings with them, being open and vulnerable, and trusting that person not to hurt you emotionally. Though it could happen. When you find that you are spending a lot of time together in a relaxed environment you will find opportunities for sharing feelings and talk openly about things. One thing that nourishes the emotional connection is cuddling. I am not talking about sexual touching but non-sexual touching and physical closeness.  We communicate a lot nonverbally.  Hugging, cuddling, touching, holding your partner – these things all express your feelings for him or her without saying a word.

When two people spend quality time together, sharing, caring, nurturing, and loving, an emotional attachment is formed.  If this continues overtime, the bond created becomes deeper and stronger. It will almost feel as if they have known each other all their lives.

An emotional connection fuses souls and strongly ties two hearts together, making individuals inseparable.  When a person is able to feel your heartaches, that constitutes an emotional connection. When kind words are used to uplift each other, then there is no question as to what it is.  It is, indeed, an emotional connection, and no other feeling in this world could compare.

In the event of two available individuals, two that are not attached in a marriage or other relationship, it should be highly valued.  Love is the end result of such unified bond. A bond which can withstand the test of time, and continue to live on long after individuals are gone.

Life is too short to ignore chances that come your way.  I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. There is no such thing as a flukes. It wasn’t chance you met this person or that.  They are in your life for a season or for a life time.  Only God knows and it is God who you have to trust to get you through.

So what do you do, when love comes along and offers your heart a chance to move on?

Sitting at my desk, I have a jar that my son made me when he was a little boy. He is now almost grown, at seventeen, becoming his own man. I am so proud of him and the choices he is making, or having to live with and learn from. There have been plenty. I am sure you can remember some.

In this jar are little pieces of paper that he has written something on each one about how he loves me. Even though he wrote it a long time ago, I still think of that innocent love from a son to his momma. Now that he is no longer living with me, but with his Dad, I find I am alone and miss him. So, I will open my jar and read:

Mom, I think you are the prettiest mom in the whole world!

Thank you for being a great mom!

Thank you for driving me to my basketball games and practices

Thank you for being good at things like cooking.

Just to name a few. The cooking one is great. As they got older and I was working more I seemed to stop cooking as much. So, it’s good to know that when I did cook back then, it was good.  :)

One thing I didn’t think I was very good at while I was married was my cooking. My husband, at the time, was the cook and I never thought I did that great because he cooked so much better. I wonder how nice it would be to have someone eat my food now and appreciate it and tell me how delicious it is. To sit at my table and give me the attention and praise my cooking skills like I am the best cook in the world. Even if I served a bowl of ice cream, to be told how great it is as if I made it myself.  That would be special indeed.

It is something I would like my son to do for his wife. Compliment her. She will want to cook for him everyday, just to hear his praises of her. It will make her want to strive to try new things and make him a happy man. It is amazing what a smile, a genuine smile, and a compliment will do to a woman when it comes to things like cooking or cleaning the house for her man and family.

Men….take heed of this post.