Can you surrender all? Even your thoughts?
Do you know what it is like being in a relationship where there is adultery? I became very observant to the looks that I would see in mine. Every woman knows what I am talking about. There doesn’t have to be any infidelities admitted, you just have that gut feeling.
Many men and women believe that committing adultery is the actual act of being intimate, becoming one. That is a partially true. If that is the only way to commit adultery then it’s a lie to keep you living in a false sense of right, when really it’s wrong.
Adultery begins with a thought.
You might think you are strong and can keep your eyes to yourself but what happens when the woman wears the blouse a little to low and you can see her cleavage? Or maybe the skirt is a little above the knee? Your thoughts are what happens next. I like to say there is a second look rule. You look once without thought. If someone is attractive, you look. When you do a double take or you turn to look back or you position yourself where you aren’t obvious that you are looking, your thoughts have possibly turned into sin.
Matthew 5: 27,28 Jesus said, “Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.”
Lust in the dictionary means, self-indulgent sexual desire; a strong sexual desire; have a craving, appetite, or great desire for.
Women who dress this way might say they do because they are confident about their appearance but the truth of the matter is this…
They want the attention. They need it.
They are missing something very important in their life. A piece that belongs to Jesus. By dressing this way women hinder not only the man but the other women around. Women? For the woman it’s not always jealousy or low self esteem. Ladies, it is fear.
My Momma told me a while ago what fear means.
FEAR =
F- False
E- Events
A- Appearing
R- Real
You might cause their spouse or boyfriend to have a wandering eye for you. This leads to ungodly thoughts. It’s not a woman’s insecurities, it’s their home unit that is being invaded. They might have a man that they like and in walks the woman looking all seductive and the man naturally will look at her. The woman who isn’t dressed provocatively but modest begins to fade in the background.
I was this woman at one time. I began to ask myself why I wore so much eye make-up and why I chose those tight jeans. When I was truthful with myself, I started paying attention to everything I did. I wore the eye make up to attract my husband, at the time, to my eyes. I would always get compliments on my eyes. I wanted the compliments from him but if he didn’t notice, someone did. He liked me wearing make up. I wore the tight jeans so that it would show off my curves. I was wanting attention, to feel attractive and my ex liked me in jeans, not skirts. I carried myself with my shoulders back, head raised and chest forward. I was confident in my walk but I was messed up in my heart. It wasn’t until I found Jesus and became convicted on it that I stopped doing these things for attention. It was really hard to let go of it, especially when you no longer have someone to compliment you and you have been used to getting those compliments. I realized that by wearing the clothes and make up like I did, I was causing others to stumble. I didn’t want to be a stumbling block. Yes, I wanted to be attractive to my husband but not at the expense of other men looking and their wives or girlfriends sending me daggers with their looks.
So ladies, let’s be honest, you might want to ask yourself these questions that I asked myself:
1) When you put on your clothes, why do you choose provocative instead of modest apparel? Do you put on the jeans and turn around and think your bottom looks good and you will get looks on it? Or maybe the tightness on your legs will show how skinny you are? Maybe the shirt is low and reveal your cleavage, showing what you have? Will all eyes be on you?
2) Why do you make yourself pretty with artificial cosmetics? Do you put on the eyeliner thick to bring the color of your eyes out? Do you want them to look there instead of the bad areas you think you have? Maybe your eyes are the only thing you think is attractive? That isn’t true. Natural beauty is attractive and believe me, when a man sees the inside being beautiful, you will become the most attractive woman ever.
Haha, men reading this might think, what? A man doesn’t look at the inside and the beauty comes to the outside. Men, I am telling you, when you see a woman who isn’t showing off her assets, sure you probably won’t give her a second look but if that woman became a friend or asked you for coffee and sat across from you, you would be seeing the real woman, not the appearance of the woman. Her heart will show on her face and she would start to spark something in you. She might be smart, she might be funny, she might be all of those things and when you see who she is, inside, you will be attractive for the right reasons, not the false reasons.
One thing you have to understand is that not all women who dress modest do so because they don’t care about being what the world considers attractive. They do care about their appearance. They want to be clean and attractive but naturally and modestly. They do so because they are led to be natural. They don’t want to be a stumbling block to other men or women. They are covering a multitude of sin that could be happening because of the way they appear to the world. They are not being conformed to this world but standing out with the standard of purity and modesty. God has a standard and it is written for a reason in the Bible.
Isaiah 47:2-3 reveals what God calls “nakedness” or immodesty. It is to “make bare the leg” and “uncover the thigh”. 1 Timothy 2:9 calls us, men and women, to dress in modest apparel.When you have such a love for God and such an abhorrence for worldliness that you will allow God to set your standards as to whether a dress is modest or not…you can’t go wrong!
Yes, man will sin with their thoughts even over women who dress modestly but the difference is you. If you are being worldly, not living for what God says, then you will be just as much at fault. You will be adding fuel to the fire. I know this might seem harsh but this is the truth. You are making it harder for others and yourself to live a Holy life because you are getting the wrong approval. You are getting approval from man and not your God. If you are living for God and dress modestly and man or woman stumble in their sin, it is their sin, not yours.
So women, let’s cover a multitude of sin and dress modestly not provocatively. Pay attention to your motives when you put on your make up, your clothes. When you do, you will have to come to terms on why you are doing it in the first place, like I did. If you can honestly say that you wear everything because you like it, go a step further and ask why you like it. If you love putting on make up and are good at it, you gotta go deeper and realize that maybe, just maybe by you wearing it to show off how good you are, you get the ladies complimenting you and making you feel good about yourself. It’s nice to have accolades but you would find it is more fulfilling having accolades when you are doing it for the right reasons. Really what is make up good for? Making you more attractive? Hey, I was there. When a man sees you in your natural and loves you, you are accepted for who you really are. You have let your mask down. You are showing the REAL you.
Some helpful hints. I was given some “covers” that snap onto my bra and I couldn’t believe how much I revealed with my shirts until I put one on. I don’t have to get rid of all my shirts and wear high collars, I just snap on the cover to my bra and I am more modest. Decide on the length of your skirt to not go over your knee. That means when you sit down, your knees aren’t showing. Why? Well, everyone is convicted differently depending on where they are in their walk with Jesus and what their Pastor preaches. If a man can see your knee or above your knee, his thoughts will wander to what you look like without that skirt. Yes, that is his problem but he wouldn’t have that problem if he couldn’t see your knee. So help a brother out. Don’t show your knee.
I know this generation is all about ME, ME, ME. But can we stop and think of others and how we can help them? Our sacrifice to our selfishness will be rewarded.
You know how when as a little kid you would look up at the sky and visualize that you saw things come to life in the clouds? Well, my friend and I were walking out of a house or building, walking down the stairs and I looked up at the sky and there was a bright green dot starting to spread around in the cloud, getting bigger.
