The Diaries of a Fruitcake in a Half Baked World!

Sitting at my desk, I have a jar that my son made me when he was a little boy. He is now almost grown, at seventeen, becoming his own man. I am so proud of him and the choices he is making, or having to live with and learn from. There have been plenty. I am sure you can remember some.

In this jar are little pieces of paper that he has written something on each one about how he loves me. Even though he wrote it a long time ago, I still think of that innocent love from a son to his momma. Now that he is no longer living with me, but with his Dad, I find I am alone and miss him. So, I will open my jar and read:

Mom, I think you are the prettiest mom in the whole world!

Thank you for being a great mom!

Thank you for driving me to my basketball games and practices

Thank you for being good at things like cooking.

Just to name a few. The cooking one is great. As they got older and I was working more I seemed to stop cooking as much. So, it’s good to know that when I did cook back then, it was good.  :)

One thing I didn’t think I was very good at while I was married was my cooking. My husband, at the time, was the cook and I never thought I did that great because he cooked so much better. I wonder how nice it would be to have someone eat my food now and appreciate it and tell me how delicious it is. To sit at my table and give me the attention and praise my cooking skills like I am the best cook in the world. Even if I served a bowl of ice cream, to be told how great it is as if I made it myself.  That would be special indeed.

It is something I would like my son to do for his wife. Compliment her. She will want to cook for him everyday, just to hear his praises of her. It will make her want to strive to try new things and make him a happy man. It is amazing what a smile, a genuine smile, and a compliment will do to a woman when it comes to things like cooking or cleaning the house for her man and family.

Men….take heed of this post.

Last night I went over and had fellowship with my church family at my friend’s house with the youth and adults. It was such a wonderful time watching everyone play cards and the women sit around and visit. (Well, when I got there, there were only 2 women visiting.) I had so much laughter. I haven’t been laughing much lately but last night I really laughed. My friend and I had her daughter take some pictures and me, the fun gal that I am , wanting to pose crazzzzy and her posing beautiful, as she is! Our faces in the pictures are just lit up. (I am adding them to my photos)

While waiting for my divorce to be finalized and since he has moved off the property and into his own place with my son, I have been able to do the things I wasn’t able to do, not due to physical reasons but mental. I always stayed at home and very rarely did I visit others. I rarely socialized with others like I did last night. I was always feeling guilty when it came to wanting that. My prayer was always how I wished that I could have the freedom to just be able to sing and praise God when I wanted or be able to just read the Bible and grow in the Lord when I wanted. To be around others and visit and not worry about coming home and being questioned. To put God first in my life.

I am reading a book that I found in Lifeway Bookstore when I was out the other day. When I go into a bookstore I pray that the Lord will point me to the book that I need right now. I will read the Bible and then read the book that has been chosen. The book that stood out and I knew I needed to get is “Lady in Waiting: Becoming God’s Best While Waiting for Mr. Right” Whether you know who Mr. Right is or you don’t know; whether you are married, divorced, widowed or single, this book is wonderful in making you really exam yourself. It is backed with scripture, which is what I have to have when reading something that is suppose to be like a self help book. To also be able to discern that the scripture is not being taken out of context to support what the author is writing about is VERY important. When the scriptures are given, I stop and look them up.

In this book, it is teaching me about how to put God first before any man. A lot of women are eating off paper plates while the china is in the hope chest. They are waiting for a “mate” to bring beauty to their private world. “It’s time to take out the china daily for yourself and God. A lot of women waiting for Mr. Right are waiting to be satisfied by sharing the china and crystal with a husband. We need to find satisfaction in serving the Lord FIRST. Some women put their lives on hold, waiting for some guy to come riding into her life on a white stallion. They have no china, no decent furniture, and no pictures on the walls – none of the little extra that make a house inviting.” When reading this, I realized that my walls are now bare and my furniture is mostly gone in the living room so my son can have familiar surroundings in his new home. There is such an echo in my living room but it has great acoustics for singing! I plan on going to the store tomorrow and buying pictures to hang that reflect the Lord and the furniture will come later. But no more bare walls. My home will be inviting and will reflect my heart, which is in love with Jesus! Amen!! We just might not have a lot of places to sit.

A lot of women, according to this author, cannot comprehend fullness and satisfaction without a man. They settle for the generic version of life. John 10:10, Jesus said that He came so that we might have a more abundant life. The question was asked, “Do you believe that the abundant life is only for the married woman? Do you think that a woman with a husband, two children, a nice home, and two insurance policies is more satisfied with life than you are? Life is satisfying only when you diligently serve the Lord, whatever your circumstances.

My circumstances are those of a biblical divorced woman. How can I serve the Lord diligently? Oh, I am finding SO many ways! I feel that the Lord is grooming me for Mr. Right. First, I have to be in love with Jesus and serve Him. Without Christ first, how can I have anything that will be lasting and true? How can I be the Godly woman, wife for my Mr. Right? How can I minister to those around me through song, which is my calling, if Christ isn’t first in my life? With Christ ALL things are possible. I am faith resting that.

So, last night after visiting my friend, I came home around 10:30 p.m. and the children were with friends for the fire works. I was alone with my Jesus. So, I put in some CD’s and started worshiping the Lord with my voice. I sang for almost an hour and could have gone on if my voice wasn’t becoming so tired. It was wonderful to stand there in the middle of the living room with my arms stretched out, palms open and lifted to the Lord in worship. Praise God!

Afterward I came to my computer and checked my email and saw I had a comment on EA from someone that I didn’t know. So, when I opened it up, just coming out of my worship time, the Lord spoke to me through this person. This is the comment:

“Get ready. You are fixing to be blessed abundantly.”

Praise God! I am holding onto this truth. It is such an encouragement. I will stay grounded, steadfast, obedient and committed in my walk. I have changed in the past month, the past weeks. Always growing and finding joy, even though my thoughts will sometimes become sad due to the silence I receive, I pray for comfort and peace, in Jesus name! I receive it, every time. Christ knows the desires of our hearts. Only He knows mine. No man can take that away.

Unlike the male species who claim ownership by marking their territory, after much thought I marked mine by redecorating my nest (home). Anyone who has been through a life changing event like this, knows what a major hurdle I cleared. You don’t realize it is a major hurdle until you feel from the outcome of the accomplishment, a sense of freedom. When you prayerfully do something and you feel real, real good about it, you know you did something major.

Someone mentioned not too long ago that writing seems to be a stress reliever for me. I do love writing and yes, it is a stress reliever because I can get my feelings out and maybe help or identify with someone else who is going through the same thing. Maybe you have gone through what I am going through and have advice for me? We are here to love one another but more importantly love our Lord!

Being alone with children who are teens and always with friends, I am spending a lot of time with God, my own thoughts and on this site. I shut down one of my facebook accounts, Thea Agnew, and started fresh with, Stephanie Thea. I am not going to allow my facebook to get out of hand. Getting crazy comments, etc… Facebook can be used as a tool to witness to others. It reaches millions. So by taking control, it no longer has control over me. Amen!

Life as I knew it has changed. No longer are all my children at home with me. My oldest girl is planning on moving out and then I have my 16 year old daughter who spends a lot of time with her girl friends and boy friend. My son stays with his Dad in their apartment. So, time to mark this territory and make it a reflection of what God is doing in my heart. I feel like I am heading up the mountain and instead of being winded by the climb, I am exhilarated by the growth and healing I am feeling as I move forward on this new journey.

Have a blessed day!

Do you ever wonder what your calling from God is? The ministry that He wants to use you for and one where you have to be a willing vessel? Sometimes what we think is our calling actually isn’t. We think it might be because we like doing that certain thing or we automatically have that talent. Your calling might be just that. Only you and God know. Others might see it before you do.

I know that my calling is Worship before and after the preaching. It might even be something more. I have a little story to tell and anyone that knows me, knows when I say this that it will probably be a book. LOL! I’ll try to keep it short

As a little girl, I would fall asleep to the radio playing by my bed. It was the radio that the time would flip. (Digital wasn’t in yet.) This one night I had a dream that I was standing on a stage, in a dress, and I was a “grown up”. I was singing in front of a large audience. I woke up and knew then that I was to sing when I was older. Now, fast forward….

There was a problem. I could’t sing very well. LOL! I took voice lessons for about 2 months and quit because we couldn’t really afford it. (I was about 11 years old at the time.) I took piano lessons for about a year but I had a hard time because my hands were small. (The piano was handed down to me and in my home, needing to be tuned after 11 years!) I played the trumpet for 3 years and then decided to do choir in high school. I tried out for parts but didn’t make it because I was either sharp or flat. So, during High School I was in groups and even joined a Military band as a back up singer. I also had a fear. I was scared to sing in front of people. My gosh! How can this be my calling? I’m sharp/flat and I have to turn my back to sing in front of people. It wouldn’t be anything like my dream!

So, I gave up on singing. I couldn’t do it. I have proof of what I sounded like. I even had people laugh at me when I would do a solo! It was even written in my high school yearbook from a popular girl that I could be her back up singer one day! That was devastating to me.

I got married at the young age of 18 and if you don’t know my testimony, please check that out. I had children and we were stationed with the Military in Germany. I was alone a lot and found other spouses were in the same boat I was in. So, I was invited to come to a ladies bible study. I didn’t want to go. Didn’t want to be part of any religion group. It was forced down my throat all my life. I was made to go to church every Sunday morning, sunday night, wednesday night and any time the church was open for any program or celebration. So, when I left home and started my own, I was on my terms and rules. I didn’t have to go anywhere I didn’t want to go and I didn’t go to church. I was VERY stubborn.

Well, I would look out my window and see all these women meeting in front of my apartment and walking together to their study week after week. Then one day I decided to go. It was this day that changed my life to want a relationship with Jesus, not because I was made to but because I made the decision on my own. People were always thinking for me and telling me what to do. Not anymore.

It was during my time on the “Mountain” with God that I prayed about what I was to do with my life. The “Mountain” for me was being away from family and friends who always told me what I should do and just being with Jesus. (I am finding myself there again now.) Jesus led me but I had to be willing. I was getting into the computer era and thinking that maybe I needed to go to college. My Mom told me to pick what I wanted to do and she would pay for it. So, instead of looking through college information I prayed. I prayed for God to tell me what He wanted me to do.

My answer? Sing. OMGosh! That cannot be right! I have already been turned down by groups in school, been laughed at, made fun of and it was published in the year book! Not to mention the fact that I couldn’t get away from being sharp/flat in my notes. Oh and did I mention the fear of talking and singing in public. I got out of a drama class BEFORE I had to give my assignment of public speaking. “Lord, I don’t think I heard you right!” But the answer was singing. I told my Mom and she said, “Well, you gotta pray that if the Lord is wanting you to sing, that He blesses your voice to not be sharp or flat but on key.” So, I prayed that if the Lord is REALLY wanting me to sing, to bless my voice.

It was a MIRACLE! My Mom sat in front of me at the kitchen table 2 months later and I wanted to share with her my “new” voice. When I was finished, she sat there with her mouth open and tears in her eyes and said, “I can’t believe it!”

So what did I do? Well, I thought God wanted me to sing country music! Lord, help this child of yours! You give her a voice and then she wants to take off and be a star! So, I went to the top with Nashville, sent in my demo and got in all the record labels and auditioned but it wasn’t His will for me to sing Country. Instead I started singing in Church. I was always looking for the stage that was in my dream and one day I found it. It was when I was leading worship for our Parris Praise Mission. A small group with our Pastor would travel to Parris Island, S.C. to minister to the Marines who were going through boot camp every quarter. It was here that I saw the Hand of God come down and bring every Marine to their hands and knees as I was singing. To see the Power of God come down on such strong Soldiers was overwhelming for me but I knew then that singing for the Lord is what I was to do. He gave me the voice, now use it for His purpose, His glory. Amen!

There is so much more I could say. So many different stories of how He has used me with my voice. One thing I want to end on is to tell you that whenever I would stand up to sing, I would ask the Lord to empty myself of self and fill me with His Spirit. A fire would come over me and burn in my chest and I would sing. He was there every time!

Have you found out what your calling is? Could you share it?

Well, I never thought I would be here.  I always said that I would never divorce, especially if I had children. I met my husband when I was 16 years old. I grew up into the woman I am with him by my side and apart. I was alone a lot in our marriage. Yet, I had my children to keep me busy and I had the Lord to keep me pure from anything outside of my marriage. After the first two years I thought it was over.  I went to the attorney’s and started paperwork but didn’t file. I thought it would scare him straight. It did for a little while. Then we started having children. 1991, 1993, 1994. The Military moved us around and I became a stronger, more independent woman. I learned to take care of just me and the children in a foreign country.  We didn’t have family around and we were in different time zones. I found the Lord during this time.

There were a lot of mistakes made in our marriage. Especially on TDY trips. Drinking is a very damaging addiction and I thought my love would be enough to make him want to change.  So many counseling sessions, so many tears, so many long talks, so many prayers.  After each infidelity I would become a little closer to becoming numb. I was in denial for so long and didn’t want to face the fact that I was unhappy and that he might never change.  I took our marriage vows seriously. Not wanting to give up. I am a fighter.

Over the past couple of months he started asking me questions like, “You are so unhappy, what do you want?”  I would tell him I wasn’t unhappy. He would look at me and say, “What do you want? What do you really want?” I didn’t know what to say to that. I was confused as to why he was asking me these questions. Did he want me to leave?   Then he started making comments that he didn’t think he would live past 55 years old.  Well, all this started to sink in and it made me really look at myself, our situation, the fact I didn’t trust him and the fact that he was never going to change.  So, I made the decision that it was time to see counseling again.  I told him that I thought we needed to see a counselor. He said no.  I said that I would go and see someone and he said, “Do what you have to do.”  This was enough to snap me in half.  It was like the flood gates opened and I looked back on my life and all the chances I gave.   I saw the whole path we had been on for 20 years and realized that I didn’t want to work on a marriage that was dead already.  When you don’t have trust, honesty, commitment, then the marriage vow has been broken. Yes, God can work miracles and change people but people have to want to change.

There were many good times we shared.  There were many bad times that were endured.  God got me through everything. Many nights I would sit on the bathroom floor and just cry. I wanted my husband to love me. To be romantic, sober. I wanted him to share in things I loved to do because he loved me . I needed attention. I needed to be the only woman. I wanted to die so many times. I knew I couldn’t do anything to myself because I had three children that needed me.  I often thought about me dying and what the children would go through with his drinking if I wasn’t around to protect them. Would he drink more?

I know from my writings in the past I seemed like a happy woman and that I was so in love.  We all put on the mask of happiness and I was in love with the thought of being loved unconditionally and completely. So, when things like this happen it shocks everyone because they had no idea.  With my situation, I couldn’t get help with the Military because if I said anything about his drinking or about the infidelity it would ruin his career. So, I had to keep it in. I had to endure in silence.  Sometimes I would make a friend on a duty station and be able to open up with that person but then we would move. The one that always heard, saw, felt, carried me was the Lord.

I would often pray that I wish I had a man that didn’t drink, didn’t smoke, would love only me, have eyes for only me, go to church with me, pray with me, do things with me. Only in a perfect world, right?

I never knew how long I would last in this marriage. My self esteem was VERY low. I didn’t want the children growing up without their father.  I didn’t think I was what any man would want. I couldn’t even take a bubble bath without feeling guilty for pampering myself.

It wasn’t until just recently that I realized all of this isn’t about me. The drinking, the women, the attention. Sure, I was unhappy because I wasn’t adored and the bottle and others got more attention than I but this is about him loving himself. You have to love yourself before you can love anyone else. You need to know what love is. God can show you what that love is and how to love your spouse, how to love yourself.

So, here we are divorcing. Please keep him in your prayers because this is hard on him now. He is coming to terms with the fact that he has lost his wife because of all the things he has done. Please keep me in your prayers because I don’t want to hurt anyone. I am numb to feelings of trying to make it work. I explained to him we don’t need to save this marriage because it has been dead for years. We have just been going through the motions. Him doing his thing and me doing mine. Sure we joke and laugh and cut up but it is more of a sisterly/brotherly love.

The biggest concern has been for the children. They are 16, 17 and 18. All three want to see me happy and they understand why this is happening. They are already making plans of who will live where and how to decorate their rooms. It’s amazing how well they are taking this. But then they have been living through some hell also with the drinking.

He needs to find himself and happiness.  I need to find my happiness and no longer live behind a mask of one.

THEA’S VISION/MISSION STATEMENT

One of my life Scriptures: Matthew 5:43,44 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.”

We live in a world that is an instant gratification and ME generation. Loving others is being replaced with loving me, first. The hardest thing I have been asked to do is love my enemies and those who persecute me. It shouldn’t be hard but it sometimes is. My life will be to overcome and endure the persecution by loving through it. I will in turn love my enemies and my enemies will no longer be viewed as such. read More >

A Poem written by Carl Gooch.  Carl is a relative of mine and he has a couple of books in stores.

Here lately I have been thinking I was going crazy because I had so much going on and usually I can handle multi tasks.  My life was becoming chaotic and I was feeling like a heavy burden was on my shoulders, weighing me down. I have talked to multiple people on the phone who all made the same comment, “You sound down, are you ok?”

I have been taken over by the Facebook bug and couldn’t seem to get out of the 4 games I was playing. I had google alerts for 5 different topics that I wanted to keep on top of, coming to my email account 50 times a day, or so it seemed. I started a new class for my Real Estate and then was looking into getting my associates in Psychology. Making sure kids are doing what they are suppose to and going to all the games. Whew! I’m tired just writing it all down. Reading it makes my chest fill tight again. BREATHE! read More >

Remember being young, possibly racing to the only dandelion you saw, hoping to beat your brother or sister? I do.

You pick this dandelion that is white and fluffy with seeds and try to be really careful not to let the wind cause any part of your masterpiece to disappear.

The thrill of being the breath that will losen, release the seeds to fly away with the wind made me a fast runner. I won!

Gently, pulling it from it’s warm bed, I would bring it to my mouth, enhale a deep breath and softly blow till the puffy white was all gone.

Where do the seeds fly to? It never entered my mind.

Something happened with the finality of my ‘Angel Girl’ dying last week. It was and still is hard to grasp that at 1:26 a.m. she was no longer with us. As my daughter said, “She exhaled”. Her last breath became part of the air I breathed. What is left of her? Pictures, a grave to visit daily, memories in my mind and that my family shares. She didn’t have puppies. Nothing from her physically, viewed, lived on. Just a hole in our hearts.

Your life… read More >

Yes, we are entering another year, 2010, and this will be the year of my big 40!

Here I am, 39 years old and I feel like I am 25! Why is that?  Our mind doesn’t seem to catch up with our body.  The other day I was looking at pictures of me holding a microphone and I saw my Mom’s hand.  I was kind of shocked. My hands didn’t look young like I am seeing in my 18 year old.

Looking back from the line of 40 that is drawn in the sand, my favorite decade has been my 30’s. My teen years I would never want to relive again! So many bad experiences. But a few good things came out of it too. I met my husband at the age of 16. I got engaged and graduated high school at the age of 17 and married at the age of 18. 19 was a rough year being married and learning how to be a, not only a wife but a Military Spouse and not relying on my relatives but my husband.

My 20’s were full of mixed emotions. I had our children at ages 21, 22, 23. At 24-27 I learned how to be a married single mom. My husband was deployed and always gone while we were in Germany. Relatives were no where around to help. I couldn’t just get in my car and drive 5 hours to see them. At 27 years old I re-dedicated my life to Christ and He blessed me with a voice to sing. 28-29 was a rough patch for me. I found out that one of my children had been molested, which devastated me! I went into depression but refused to take medicine for it. I used food as my comfort and gained a lot of weight. I was really down on myself for not being able to protect my child. Her and I went to therapy together for a year, which seemed to help. So, my 20’s were years of growing and trying to find direction after seeing how I handled the years before!

Have you been there? Wondering, as you look around the house and see little ones running everywhere, is there something more I am suppose to be doing with my life?  Not realizing that being a mother is one of the most important “jobs” anyone could ever have in life! It doesn’t pay much physically but it does fulfill mentally. The fruit of your labor will show in years to come and you will see just how important being a mother is. But it doesn’t stop when they aren’t little and depending on you anymore.  They will need you more than ever in the teen years, when you think that now is the time to get out and work because they are busy doing their own thing. Not so! It would be great to get a job during the hours they are in school but the hours after school are the most important ones! I knew this from when I was a teen and I had a working mom. So, if I got on one of my kicks to go out and find a job, I made sure it was during school hours or at home, otherwise I wouldn’t be working for very long.

Turning 30 was the hardest age for me.  I remember going to the doctor for that yearly check up and sitting there talking to the doctor. I had started to break out like never before and I was over weight. I told the doctor, “I’m depressed, I have acne, I’m over weight and I need you to check my blood for cancer and I turned 30!” I thought I was falling apart. I really was a mess. I hadn’t been in church for over 3 years at the time and it showed, to me. I mean not too long ago I had re-dedicated my life and was part of a women’s bible study and now it looked like I was falling apart!  The kids were getting older and not needing me to entertain them. So, what was I doing with my life? These were the “try everything” years. My poor husband.  He was so supportive though. I think I tried every stay-at-home job I could find. I had friends that would support me also with every new adventure. I just couldn’t find the right thing I was to do.

I worked at Red Lobster as a waitress for the first time. But the hours were not good for the family. I always wanted to try it and I am glad I did. I now know how to tip! They work really hard for below minimum wage or at least it was then. I had the chance to work for LifeWay Christian bookstore but I turned it down because I was now going to church and having to leave every quarter to sing for the Marines at Parris Island. I had my own daycare, Weeble Wobbles Daycare, in our home. I also, later, worked for the elementary school my children were attending. That was a blessing for me.  I then worked for a local bank for a year and decided to become a Realtor. I have been doing that going on 5 years now.  Singing was a big part of my 30’s. I tried hard to make it in the industry but it just wasn’t meant to be. I had so many people that stood behind me and cheered me on and it is part of my life I will always cherish. I will never have the regret either! That is important.  Don’t ever give up or not try cause otherwise you will be flirting with 40 and wondering why you didn’t try.  It’s never too late to try, even if you are past the 40 mark.

I think I might be in denial about 40 though. I just can’t believe it.  I remember when my Mom was 40. I am actually looking forward to this part of my life! This will be the times that I am going to write my book and be a published writer.  I will one day be a Grandma! I cannot wait for that! I will be able to mentor women and grow more in the Lord. I am just very excited about what the Lord has in store for me.

So, have you gone through your 40 year mark? Tell me about how it went for you and what you learned…

The other morning I came across the words “lowly” and “servanthood”.  Reading the Bible I find that it is a characteristic that would actually help me and others. To strive for, to be a servant of Christ.  I, for one, am interested and desire the characteristics of Christ. Currently I am doing a workbook study on “The Mind of Christ”.   The word “servant” has a negative implication for me when it came up.  I mean, reading those two words, lowly and servanthood, sound like you are being a doormat and serving others and treated badly. I immediately felt my heart fall because I know this is one area I have a problem with. I started getting sad right away. I like to be happy and I like to make people laugh. Being a servant and being lowly don’t sound like a way to be happy or does it?

In Phil. 2:7 it says Jesus “made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant”.  A Christlike characteristics to becoming a servant is being lowly. Woah there!  Lowly?  Why would I want to be lowly? There are  a couple of reasons to not wanting to be lowly. The first is not knowing what it means and the second would be pride.  I mean, if you think about it, pride has been around since Adam and Eve in the garden!  God despises the proud, but He dwells on the lowly.  *Lowliness does not mean belittling yourself. Rather, it means esteeming others.

Ok, fast forward….I am laying in bed flipping through channels around 10:30 at night and come across Joyce Meyer Ministries.  I rarely ever watch t.v. but this night I turned it on and was searching for something to entertain my mind.  Joyce was talking about depression.  We all have something to be depressed about, seriously. If you really want to get down, then you can find something to make you sad and if you dwell on it, you will stay there.  Well, she made a really interesting observation on how to get out of depression without medication.  It is esteeming others! Imagine that.

To becoming lowly, I need to esteem others. Now that is not hard or discouraging like I thought.  I know I can do that. If we all desired and put some effort into esteeming others wouldn’t the world be a better place?  When you lift others up, some might not be very receptive to it at first, but when you truly mean it and the smile on your face is genuine, people notice and can’t help but smile back or if they don’t, they will eventually.

So if you find yourself depressed right now, find someone that you can esteem.  You will find that not only does it make that person feel better, it will make you feel better because your mind will be off of yourself and your problems and on someone else.

We would love to hear your stories of experiencing the characteristic of being lowly. Tell us how you have esteemed others around you. We would love to hear your ideas.

*The Mind of Christ  by T.W. Hunt and Claude King pg. 21

Good news is that I truly out did myself this year with my Christmas decorations.  The bad news is that I had to take him down after 2 days!  I had more people come screaming up to my house than ever.  Great stories.  But two things made me take it down.

First, the cops advised me that it would cause traffic accidents as they almost wrecked when they drove by!

Second, a 55 year old lady grabbed the 75 pound ladder, almost killed herself putting it against my house and didn’t realize it was fake until she climbed to the top (she was not happy!). By the way, she was one of the many people who attempted to do that.

My yard couldn’t take it either.  I have more than a few tire tracks where people literally drove up my yard.

Happy Holidays!!! J

Posted with permission of: Kate Matties

In people’s selfish ambitions to be more, get more, etc… our world changes.

In this day and time, change has happened to make life easier so we are lazier, heavier and our morals are dying with the ages.  There is more selfishness to make one’s life easier.  When it’s distancing one farther away from righteousness.

What is “righteousness”?  It is living right.  That is how I remember it. To help you live “right” requires obedience to the Lord.

How can these selfish ambitions and obedience live together?  Selfish ambition leads to death, obedience leads to life.

Righteousness is living right. Once you find yourself being obedient to the Word, next would come sanctification. read More >

Alright, how many of you have been to a Bible study?  Did you like it?  I was involved with Bible studies from 1995 until 3 years ago. I haven’t been to church except maybe 3 times in the past 3 years.  Why?

Well, I just don’t want me or my family to get hurt again or get in the wrong frame of mind.  ”Get in the wrong frame of mind”? How can you get in the wrong frame of mind by going to church?  Very easily. read More >

A fruitcake can make you stop and think.  They can make you wonder, “Why is she looking like that?”  or you might look and wonder, “How can she live like that?” YET they are happy within and you see it in the way they walk, talk and treat others. You might wonder what do they have to be happy about when they don’t dress like the world? They stand out and looking at the outside appearance they might be judged as crazy, in bondage, a cult, or a fruitcake. If you are anything like I was, the Lord has drawn you to this site to learn more about living for Jesus by seeing a woman who looked different yet seemed to have the world in her hands. You might wonder what their secret to living free is.

Welcome to the world of this fruitcake!

Yes, I can be a little nutty sometimes but never put on a shelf! I am a single mother and woman on a mission, reaching others through love and in turn growing from each experience.

Early in the spring of 2009, I felt a pull to write a book. (A project that will happen in God’s timing.) I shared with my Momma about how people would look down their noses, talk behind my back, telling others that I just didn’t know what I wanted in life. I would be judged because of the church I attended. I would be judged because of the church I left. It’s amazing how we try to size up a person by their outer appearance. It hurt when it came back to me. I had the stirring, deep within, to follow the Truth. The Truth as the Lord put in my heart. I realized there are a lot of us out there that are labeled fruitcake because of outer appearance and our convictions, So why not embrace it and make it something positive?!

I decided to embark on the journey of a blog and found an amazing team, Moxie Design Studios.

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