The Diaries of a Fruitcake in a Half Baked World!

Sitting at my desk, I have a jar that my son made me when he was a little boy. He is now almost grown, at seventeen, becoming his own man. I am so proud of him and the choices he is making, or having to live with and learn from. There have been plenty. I am sure you can remember some.

In this jar are little pieces of paper that he has written something on each one about how he loves me. Even though he wrote it a long time ago, I still think of that innocent love from a son to his momma. Now that he is no longer living with me, but with his Dad, I find I am alone and miss him. So, I will open my jar and read:

Mom, I think you are the prettiest mom in the whole world!

Thank you for being a great mom!

Thank you for driving me to my basketball games and practices

Thank you for being good at things like cooking.

Just to name a few. The cooking one is great. As they got older and I was working more I seemed to stop cooking as much. So, it’s good to know that when I did cook back then, it was good.  :)

One thing I didn’t think I was very good at while I was married was my cooking. My husband, at the time, was the cook and I never thought I did that great because he cooked so much better. I wonder how nice it would be to have someone eat my food now and appreciate it and tell me how delicious it is. To sit at my table and give me the attention and praise my cooking skills like I am the best cook in the world. Even if I served a bowl of ice cream, to be told how great it is as if I made it myself.  That would be special indeed.

It is something I would like my son to do for his wife. Compliment her. She will want to cook for him everyday, just to hear his praises of her. It will make her want to strive to try new things and make him a happy man. It is amazing what a smile, a genuine smile, and a compliment will do to a woman when it comes to things like cooking or cleaning the house for her man and family.

Men….take heed of this post.

Last night I went over and had fellowship with my church family at my friend’s house with the youth and adults. It was such a wonderful time watching everyone play cards and the women sit around and visit. (Well, when I got there, there were only 2 women visiting.) I had so much laughter. I haven’t been laughing much lately but last night I really laughed. My friend and I had her daughter take some pictures and me, the fun gal that I am , wanting to pose crazzzzy and her posing beautiful, as she is! Our faces in the pictures are just lit up. (I am adding them to my photos)

While waiting for my divorce to be finalized and since he has moved off the property and into his own place with my son, I have been able to do the things I wasn’t able to do, not due to physical reasons but mental. I always stayed at home and very rarely did I visit others. I rarely socialized with others like I did last night. I was always feeling guilty when it came to wanting that. My prayer was always how I wished that I could have the freedom to just be able to sing and praise God when I wanted or be able to just read the Bible and grow in the Lord when I wanted. To be around others and visit and not worry about coming home and being questioned. To put God first in my life.

I am reading a book that I found in Lifeway Bookstore when I was out the other day. When I go into a bookstore I pray that the Lord will point me to the book that I need right now. I will read the Bible and then read the book that has been chosen. The book that stood out and I knew I needed to get is “Lady in Waiting: Becoming God’s Best While Waiting for Mr. Right” Whether you know who Mr. Right is or you don’t know; whether you are married, divorced, widowed or single, this book is wonderful in making you really exam yourself. It is backed with scripture, which is what I have to have when reading something that is suppose to be like a self help book. To also be able to discern that the scripture is not being taken out of context to support what the author is writing about is VERY important. When the scriptures are given, I stop and look them up.

In this book, it is teaching me about how to put God first before any man. A lot of women are eating off paper plates while the china is in the hope chest. They are waiting for a “mate” to bring beauty to their private world. “It’s time to take out the china daily for yourself and God. A lot of women waiting for Mr. Right are waiting to be satisfied by sharing the china and crystal with a husband. We need to find satisfaction in serving the Lord FIRST. Some women put their lives on hold, waiting for some guy to come riding into her life on a white stallion. They have no china, no decent furniture, and no pictures on the walls – none of the little extra that make a house inviting.” When reading this, I realized that my walls are now bare and my furniture is mostly gone in the living room so my son can have familiar surroundings in his new home. There is such an echo in my living room but it has great acoustics for singing! I plan on going to the store tomorrow and buying pictures to hang that reflect the Lord and the furniture will come later. But no more bare walls. My home will be inviting and will reflect my heart, which is in love with Jesus! Amen!! We just might not have a lot of places to sit.

A lot of women, according to this author, cannot comprehend fullness and satisfaction without a man. They settle for the generic version of life. John 10:10, Jesus said that He came so that we might have a more abundant life. The question was asked, “Do you believe that the abundant life is only for the married woman? Do you think that a woman with a husband, two children, a nice home, and two insurance policies is more satisfied with life than you are? Life is satisfying only when you diligently serve the Lord, whatever your circumstances.

My circumstances are those of a biblical divorced woman. How can I serve the Lord diligently? Oh, I am finding SO many ways! I feel that the Lord is grooming me for Mr. Right. First, I have to be in love with Jesus and serve Him. Without Christ first, how can I have anything that will be lasting and true? How can I be the Godly woman, wife for my Mr. Right? How can I minister to those around me through song, which is my calling, if Christ isn’t first in my life? With Christ ALL things are possible. I am faith resting that.

So, last night after visiting my friend, I came home around 10:30 p.m. and the children were with friends for the fire works. I was alone with my Jesus. So, I put in some CD’s and started worshiping the Lord with my voice. I sang for almost an hour and could have gone on if my voice wasn’t becoming so tired. It was wonderful to stand there in the middle of the living room with my arms stretched out, palms open and lifted to the Lord in worship. Praise God!

Afterward I came to my computer and checked my email and saw I had a comment on EA from someone that I didn’t know. So, when I opened it up, just coming out of my worship time, the Lord spoke to me through this person. This is the comment:

“Get ready. You are fixing to be blessed abundantly.”

Praise God! I am holding onto this truth. It is such an encouragement. I will stay grounded, steadfast, obedient and committed in my walk. I have changed in the past month, the past weeks. Always growing and finding joy, even though my thoughts will sometimes become sad due to the silence I receive, I pray for comfort and peace, in Jesus name! I receive it, every time. Christ knows the desires of our hearts. Only He knows mine. No man can take that away.

Unlike the male species who claim ownership by marking their territory, after much thought I marked mine by redecorating my nest (home). Anyone who has been through a life changing event like this, knows what a major hurdle I cleared. You don’t realize it is a major hurdle until you feel from the outcome of the accomplishment, a sense of freedom. When you prayerfully do something and you feel real, real good about it, you know you did something major.

Someone mentioned not too long ago that writing seems to be a stress reliever for me. I do love writing and yes, it is a stress reliever because I can get my feelings out and maybe help or identify with someone else who is going through the same thing. Maybe you have gone through what I am going through and have advice for me? We are here to love one another but more importantly love our Lord!

Being alone with children who are teens and always with friends, I am spending a lot of time with God, my own thoughts and on this site. I shut down one of my facebook accounts, Thea Agnew, and started fresh with, Stephanie Thea. I am not going to allow my facebook to get out of hand. Getting crazy comments, etc… Facebook can be used as a tool to witness to others. It reaches millions. So by taking control, it no longer has control over me. Amen!

Life as I knew it has changed. No longer are all my children at home with me. My oldest girl is planning on moving out and then I have my 16 year old daughter who spends a lot of time with her girl friends and boy friend. My son stays with his Dad in their apartment. So, time to mark this territory and make it a reflection of what God is doing in my heart. I feel like I am heading up the mountain and instead of being winded by the climb, I am exhilarated by the growth and healing I am feeling as I move forward on this new journey.

Have a blessed day!

Do you ever wonder what your calling from God is? The ministry that He wants to use you for and one where you have to be a willing vessel? Sometimes what we think is our calling actually isn’t. We think it might be because we like doing that certain thing or we automatically have that talent. Your calling might be just that. Only you and God know. Others might see it before you do.

I know that my calling is Worship before and after the preaching. It might even be something more. I have a little story to tell and anyone that knows me, knows when I say this that it will probably be a book. LOL! I’ll try to keep it short

As a little girl, I would fall asleep to the radio playing by my bed. It was the radio that the time would flip. (Digital wasn’t in yet.) This one night I had a dream that I was standing on a stage, in a dress, and I was a “grown up”. I was singing in front of a large audience. I woke up and knew then that I was to sing when I was older. Now, fast forward….

There was a problem. I could’t sing very well. LOL! I took voice lessons for about 2 months and quit because we couldn’t really afford it. (I was about 11 years old at the time.) I took piano lessons for about a year but I had a hard time because my hands were small. (The piano was handed down to me and in my home, needing to be tuned after 11 years!) I played the trumpet for 3 years and then decided to do choir in high school. I tried out for parts but didn’t make it because I was either sharp or flat. So, during High School I was in groups and even joined a Military band as a back up singer. I also had a fear. I was scared to sing in front of people. My gosh! How can this be my calling? I’m sharp/flat and I have to turn my back to sing in front of people. It wouldn’t be anything like my dream!

So, I gave up on singing. I couldn’t do it. I have proof of what I sounded like. I even had people laugh at me when I would do a solo! It was even written in my high school yearbook from a popular girl that I could be her back up singer one day! That was devastating to me.

I got married at the young age of 18 and if you don’t know my testimony, please check that out. I had children and we were stationed with the Military in Germany. I was alone a lot and found other spouses were in the same boat I was in. So, I was invited to come to a ladies bible study. I didn’t want to go. Didn’t want to be part of any religion group. It was forced down my throat all my life. I was made to go to church every Sunday morning, sunday night, wednesday night and any time the church was open for any program or celebration. So, when I left home and started my own, I was on my terms and rules. I didn’t have to go anywhere I didn’t want to go and I didn’t go to church. I was VERY stubborn.

Well, I would look out my window and see all these women meeting in front of my apartment and walking together to their study week after week. Then one day I decided to go. It was this day that changed my life to want a relationship with Jesus, not because I was made to but because I made the decision on my own. People were always thinking for me and telling me what to do. Not anymore.

It was during my time on the “Mountain” with God that I prayed about what I was to do with my life. The “Mountain” for me was being away from family and friends who always told me what I should do and just being with Jesus. (I am finding myself there again now.) Jesus led me but I had to be willing. I was getting into the computer era and thinking that maybe I needed to go to college. My Mom told me to pick what I wanted to do and she would pay for it. So, instead of looking through college information I prayed. I prayed for God to tell me what He wanted me to do.

My answer? Sing. OMGosh! That cannot be right! I have already been turned down by groups in school, been laughed at, made fun of and it was published in the year book! Not to mention the fact that I couldn’t get away from being sharp/flat in my notes. Oh and did I mention the fear of talking and singing in public. I got out of a drama class BEFORE I had to give my assignment of public speaking. “Lord, I don’t think I heard you right!” But the answer was singing. I told my Mom and she said, “Well, you gotta pray that if the Lord is wanting you to sing, that He blesses your voice to not be sharp or flat but on key.” So, I prayed that if the Lord is REALLY wanting me to sing, to bless my voice.

It was a MIRACLE! My Mom sat in front of me at the kitchen table 2 months later and I wanted to share with her my “new” voice. When I was finished, she sat there with her mouth open and tears in her eyes and said, “I can’t believe it!”

So what did I do? Well, I thought God wanted me to sing country music! Lord, help this child of yours! You give her a voice and then she wants to take off and be a star! So, I went to the top with Nashville, sent in my demo and got in all the record labels and auditioned but it wasn’t His will for me to sing Country. Instead I started singing in Church. I was always looking for the stage that was in my dream and one day I found it. It was when I was leading worship for our Parris Praise Mission. A small group with our Pastor would travel to Parris Island, S.C. to minister to the Marines who were going through boot camp every quarter. It was here that I saw the Hand of God come down and bring every Marine to their hands and knees as I was singing. To see the Power of God come down on such strong Soldiers was overwhelming for me but I knew then that singing for the Lord is what I was to do. He gave me the voice, now use it for His purpose, His glory. Amen!

There is so much more I could say. So many different stories of how He has used me with my voice. One thing I want to end on is to tell you that whenever I would stand up to sing, I would ask the Lord to empty myself of self and fill me with His Spirit. A fire would come over me and burn in my chest and I would sing. He was there every time!

Have you found out what your calling is? Could you share it?

Going to a restroom, you will always see the sign where it shows the woman in a dress and the man in pants. Now I have seen unisex signs where half the figure is pant and skirt.

I am on a journey of why our dress changed.  Why we feel like we have to wear pants or we think to wear a skirt or dress makes us less worthy. I was raised in little dresses and pants. But there was time when pants were not even an option for women.

I was speaking with my Granni this morning and I asked her if she remembered when she started wearing pants.  She thought for second and said she did. She was the first woman to wear a pair of pants to her church.  When she walked in, the women came up to her and told her how happy they were that she wore them. They could now start wearing pants, since she started it.  She laughed and said that she was always the first to be trying things.

I asked her if she remembered why she started wearing pants and she couldn’t remember the reasoning for it. My Great-Granni, her Mother, never wore pants that she could remember.

It truly is amazing when I decided to live for Christ how my manners, my sight, my feelings for living have changed. I care for people but it has tripled in how I feel love for everyone.

Here comes the fruitcake, and I say this with humor not demeaning in anyway. I have been dealing with the conviction of dress and it started over 8 years ago but then I stopped reading the word and spending daily time with my God, I even stopped going to church. People were looking at me like I was a freak and I was having a hard time with that and my husband coming back from the war and seeing a change in me. I was coming across as odd or different or religious. Looking back I realize that I was living for people and not God.

EVERYONE has different convictions.  I am not putting this here to say that you need to have this conviction or be like me. I am sharing my testimony of the conviction of dress for me.

I was in a bad place in my walk with Christ for a long period of time. I had the problem with offense. I was hurt by Christians and I held onto the offense without realizing.  I let my pride get in the way by saying, “This is what happened but I am good now”. I wasn’t good. I put up a wall and was afraid to open up to anyone for fear I would be hurt again.  Maybe you can relate to what I am saying. I wouldn’t plant my feet in any church, let alone go to one without feeling sad or asking myself, “what do they want of me?”. My walls were very high.

It wasn’t until recently, through my studying, it came to me that I need to learn from what Jesus did.  Imagine going through what He went through. When His hour came and everyone that said they wouldn’t deny Him, did. I tell you what, I would have been offended and thought, “well see if I call you again or speak to you.” My feelings would have been hurt that my so called friends that professed to love me, acted like they didn’t even know me.  Jesus didn’t feel that way or have any offense toward them. He loved them, truly loved them, and came to them.  That is what I need to do in my life.  I don’t need to be afraid of getting hurt. When I do, I know that I will grow from it and be stronger.

Why allow offenses to come in between me and my Lord? Why stay in the dark hole of self-pity? I decided that it is time to allow myself to be open to relationships around me and not be afraid of being hurt. This life isn’t suppose to be peachy and perfect, if it was then we would be in Heaven. This life is by no means heaven! I decided it is time to plant my feet and no long forsake the gathering of those who love Jesus. Where I plant is where the Lord is leading me. When it gets hard, I won’t leave and try to find another place. That is being offended and acting on it. I will not leave unless the Lord moves me in peace.

So with that being said, I have read the scripture Deut. 22:5, which says, “A woman must not wear man’s clothing, nor should a man dress up in woman’s clothing, for all who do this are an offense to the Lord your God.” We all know how we feel when we are offended. The word offense here is a hebrew term that speaks of anything that runs counter to ritual or moral order, especially to divine standards. It goes against God’s nature and will.

When I read that I went through the thoughts of, “that was then, this is now.” BUT God is never changing. We change all the time, constantly. His word never changes with the times. He has no time. One day to us could be a thousand years to Him and a thousand years to us, could be a day to Him. It is a book that teaches us how to live from the One and Only True God.  Kind of like when we have children and we have lived and know that the path they are on would be smoother if they went this way. But no, they won’t listen to us to get a smoother path. They have to choose for themselves and travel the bumpy way. That is how the Bible is to me. It is my choice whether I want to be obedient to my God or live the way I want to live.

Some might think that this scripture is being taken out of context but my question to those people that think that is this: If taking it out of context is saying that women should not wear men’s clothing and it causes me to want to live in more modest apparel, to not be masculine but feminine, to live according to what I feel the Lord is telling me to be obedient about, what difference is it to you? How is me wearing a skirt hurting you? It’s not. I think it makes people take a look at their own life and how they are living and it might make them upset with what they see there. Therefore, they get upset and talk about the women in skirts.

My Granni brought up this scripture when she told me she started wearing pants and said that she wasn’t wearing men’s pants but women’s pants.  I told her, whether the pants button on the right or left or wherever the zipper is placed to make it a pair of “women’s” pants isn’t what that scripture was saying to me. Men wouldn’t wear a skirt to work in America. They wear pants. So, if I wear pants then I am wearing clothing like men. I don’t know if you see that but I do. If you don’t see that, don’t worry, it’s not something you are convicted on. I know I felt that way when someone pointed it out to me. I had to let God convict me if I was to not wear pants. I am still wearing them on and off but that is between me and my God. I am beginning to think I will only wear my skirts outside the home. Inside my PJ’s are pants, my exercise outfit inside is pants. Women wore pantaloons under their skirts to have modest movement if they had to lift their skirt to do something active.

I am not perfect and I know that people will always judge me and I am fine with that now. The only judge that matters is God. They will judge me if I am wearing pants by thinking things like, “Look at her butt”, or “why is her pants so tight?”. They will judge me in skirts by saying, “Why is she wearing a skirt?” or “She looks like she is one of those church ladies that have long hair and don’t wear make-up.” Well, I am one of those ladies but I wear make up and my hair is short.  The Lord hasn’t convicted me in those areas. I do want my hair longer but I like having the color, just like the Godly Women have perms. I know that I cannot change my gray because the temporary stuff just wears off and bam! there is the gray. (I only have around 10 strands, by the way.) But how I look on the outside if for man to judge I guess. Whether I am affected by it or not is my choice.

Here is something that came to me since I started being obedient to the conviction the Lord gave me:

• I realized while in Wal-Mart that when I looked around, I was the minority. I thought how back when women were wearing skirts, how they must have felt looking at the woman in pants. Do the women in pants now look at the woman in the skirt and think the same thing? Or were the women in skirts envious of the woman that seemed to have freedom in pants and be independent and now looking at the women in skirts feels that those women are going back to a time when we were in bondage?

Do you have anything to share on this topic? If so, feel free to email me or sign up and put your thoughts in the comments.

THEA’S VISION/MISSION STATEMENT

One of my life Scriptures: Matthew 5:43,44 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.”

We live in a world that is an instant gratification and ME generation. Loving others is being replaced with loving me, first. The hardest thing I have been asked to do is love my enemies and those who persecute me. It shouldn’t be hard but it sometimes is. My life will be to overcome and endure the persecution by loving through it. I will in turn love my enemies and my enemies will no longer be viewed as such. read More >

A Poem written by Carl Gooch.  Carl is a relative of mine and he has a couple of books in stores.

Here lately I have been thinking I was going crazy because I had so much going on and usually I can handle multi tasks.  My life was becoming chaotic and I was feeling like a heavy burden was on my shoulders, weighing me down. I have talked to multiple people on the phone who all made the same comment, “You sound down, are you ok?”

I have been taken over by the Facebook bug and couldn’t seem to get out of the 4 games I was playing. I had google alerts for 5 different topics that I wanted to keep on top of, coming to my email account 50 times a day, or so it seemed. I started a new class for my Real Estate and then was looking into getting my associates in Psychology. Making sure kids are doing what they are suppose to and going to all the games. Whew! I’m tired just writing it all down. Reading it makes my chest fill tight again. BREATHE! read More >

Remember being young, possibly racing to the only dandelion you saw, hoping to beat your brother or sister? I do.

You pick this dandelion that is white and fluffy with seeds and try to be really careful not to let the wind cause any part of your masterpiece to disappear.

The thrill of being the breath that will losen, release the seeds to fly away with the wind made me a fast runner. I won!

Gently, pulling it from it’s warm bed, I would bring it to my mouth, enhale a deep breath and softly blow till the puffy white was all gone.

Where do the seeds fly to? It never entered my mind.

Something happened with the finality of my ‘Angel Girl’ dying last week. It was and still is hard to grasp that at 1:26 a.m. she was no longer with us. As my daughter said, “She exhaled”. Her last breath became part of the air I breathed. What is left of her? Pictures, a grave to visit daily, memories in my mind and that my family shares. She didn’t have puppies. Nothing from her physically, viewed, lived on. Just a hole in our hearts.

Your life… read More >

Yes, we are entering another year, 2010, and this will be the year of my big 40!

Here I am, 39 years old and I feel like I am 25! Why is that?  Our mind doesn’t seem to catch up with our body.  The other day I was looking at pictures of me holding a microphone and I saw my Mom’s hand.  I was kind of shocked. My hands didn’t look young like I am seeing in my 18 year old.

Looking back from the line of 40 that is drawn in the sand, my favorite decade has been my 30’s. My teen years I would never want to relive again! So many bad experiences. But a few good things came out of it too. I met my husband at the age of 16. I got engaged and graduated high school at the age of 17 and married at the age of 18. 19 was a rough year being married and learning how to be a, not only a wife but a Military Spouse and not relying on my relatives but my husband.

My 20’s were full of mixed emotions. I had our children at ages 21, 22, 23. At 24-27 I learned how to be a married single mom. My husband was deployed and always gone while we were in Germany. Relatives were no where around to help. I couldn’t just get in my car and drive 5 hours to see them. At 27 years old I re-dedicated my life to Christ and He blessed me with a voice to sing. 28-29 was a rough patch for me. I found out that one of my children had been molested, which devastated me! I went into depression but refused to take medicine for it. I used food as my comfort and gained a lot of weight. I was really down on myself for not being able to protect my child. Her and I went to therapy together for a year, which seemed to help. So, my 20’s were years of growing and trying to find direction after seeing how I handled the years before!

Have you been there? Wondering, as you look around the house and see little ones running everywhere, is there something more I am suppose to be doing with my life?  Not realizing that being a mother is one of the most important “jobs” anyone could ever have in life! It doesn’t pay much physically but it does fulfill mentally. The fruit of your labor will show in years to come and you will see just how important being a mother is. But it doesn’t stop when they aren’t little and depending on you anymore.  They will need you more than ever in the teen years, when you think that now is the time to get out and work because they are busy doing their own thing. Not so! It would be great to get a job during the hours they are in school but the hours after school are the most important ones! I knew this from when I was a teen and I had a working mom. So, if I got on one of my kicks to go out and find a job, I made sure it was during school hours or at home, otherwise I wouldn’t be working for very long.

Turning 30 was the hardest age for me.  I remember going to the doctor for that yearly check up and sitting there talking to the doctor. I had started to break out like never before and I was over weight. I told the doctor, “I’m depressed, I have acne, I’m over weight and I need you to check my blood for cancer and I turned 30!” I thought I was falling apart. I really was a mess. I hadn’t been in church for over 3 years at the time and it showed, to me. I mean not too long ago I had re-dedicated my life and was part of a women’s bible study and now it looked like I was falling apart!  The kids were getting older and not needing me to entertain them. So, what was I doing with my life? These were the “try everything” years. My poor husband.  He was so supportive though. I think I tried every stay-at-home job I could find. I had friends that would support me also with every new adventure. I just couldn’t find the right thing I was to do.

I worked at Red Lobster as a waitress for the first time. But the hours were not good for the family. I always wanted to try it and I am glad I did. I now know how to tip! They work really hard for below minimum wage or at least it was then. I had the chance to work for LifeWay Christian bookstore but I turned it down because I was now going to church and having to leave every quarter to sing for the Marines at Parris Island. I had my own daycare, Weeble Wobbles Daycare, in our home. I also, later, worked for the elementary school my children were attending. That was a blessing for me.  I then worked for a local bank for a year and decided to become a Realtor. I have been doing that going on 5 years now.  Singing was a big part of my 30’s. I tried hard to make it in the industry but it just wasn’t meant to be. I had so many people that stood behind me and cheered me on and it is part of my life I will always cherish. I will never have the regret either! That is important.  Don’t ever give up or not try cause otherwise you will be flirting with 40 and wondering why you didn’t try.  It’s never too late to try, even if you are past the 40 mark.

I think I might be in denial about 40 though. I just can’t believe it.  I remember when my Mom was 40. I am actually looking forward to this part of my life! This will be the times that I am going to write my book and be a published writer.  I will one day be a Grandma! I cannot wait for that! I will be able to mentor women and grow more in the Lord. I am just very excited about what the Lord has in store for me.

So, have you gone through your 40 year mark? Tell me about how it went for you and what you learned…

The other morning I came across the words “lowly” and “servanthood”.  Reading the Bible I find that it is a characteristic that would actually help me and others. To strive for, to be a servant of Christ.  I, for one, am interested and desire the characteristics of Christ. Currently I am doing a workbook study on “The Mind of Christ”.   The word “servant” has a negative implication for me when it came up.  I mean, reading those two words, lowly and servanthood, sound like you are being a doormat and serving others and treated badly. I immediately felt my heart fall because I know this is one area I have a problem with. I started getting sad right away. I like to be happy and I like to make people laugh. Being a servant and being lowly don’t sound like a way to be happy or does it?

In Phil. 2:7 it says Jesus “made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant”.  A Christlike characteristics to becoming a servant is being lowly. Woah there!  Lowly?  Why would I want to be lowly? There are  a couple of reasons to not wanting to be lowly. The first is not knowing what it means and the second would be pride.  I mean, if you think about it, pride has been around since Adam and Eve in the garden!  God despises the proud, but He dwells on the lowly.  *Lowliness does not mean belittling yourself. Rather, it means esteeming others.

Ok, fast forward….I am laying in bed flipping through channels around 10:30 at night and come across Joyce Meyer Ministries.  I rarely ever watch t.v. but this night I turned it on and was searching for something to entertain my mind.  Joyce was talking about depression.  We all have something to be depressed about, seriously. If you really want to get down, then you can find something to make you sad and if you dwell on it, you will stay there.  Well, she made a really interesting observation on how to get out of depression without medication.  It is esteeming others! Imagine that.

To becoming lowly, I need to esteem others. Now that is not hard or discouraging like I thought.  I know I can do that. If we all desired and put some effort into esteeming others wouldn’t the world be a better place?  When you lift others up, some might not be very receptive to it at first, but when you truly mean it and the smile on your face is genuine, people notice and can’t help but smile back or if they don’t, they will eventually.

So if you find yourself depressed right now, find someone that you can esteem.  You will find that not only does it make that person feel better, it will make you feel better because your mind will be off of yourself and your problems and on someone else.

We would love to hear your stories of experiencing the characteristic of being lowly. Tell us how you have esteemed others around you. We would love to hear your ideas.

*The Mind of Christ  by T.W. Hunt and Claude King pg. 21