The Diaries of a Fruitcake in a Half Baked World!

What do you do, when love comes along and offers your heart a chance to move on?

There are no guarantees, no safety nets, just trusting your heart and taking that first step.

Second chance? Do you take it and fly? Or do you ignore it and tell yourself it isn’t time because you have other things going on? Maybe you think you don’t deserve a chance at something that could be amazing because you don’t want to drop your guard and possibly be hurt again.  It’s safer to not have loved than to love at all and get hurt, right?

WRONG!

We all know love or relationships are hard work.  Having to learn personalities all over again and hoping that they aren’t like the others that didn’t work out before them.  Every relationship that has gone sour, hurt. You know what you don’t want in the next person that is given a chance to get to know you…but you aren’t giving them a chance, you are giving yourself a chance.

A chance to be happy, to enjoy someone’s company, to laugh, hold hands, feel a part of someone’s life and to be hurt. To argue, not always agree with someone, need space to miss that person, someone to run to when you wanna cry but be connected to someone, non the less. No pain, no gain…right? It is so true when you have found someone or someone has found you and there is a connection.

RelationSHIP

It seems to be the most un-sturdy and uncertain vessel to navigate through any ocean of the heart. While the warm winds of prevailing love and romance blow favorably through its sails, this unseaworthy vessel steers ahead with pride and promise. But upon hitting rough and stormy weather, too often the relationSHIP flounders and sinks.

How do you know if you are in a relationship? Well, the definition for relationship is a state of connectedness between people, especially an emotional connection.

What is an emotional connection in a relationship? It’s something that goes beyond just the physical. It’s being able to relate to a person on an emotional level. To be able to share your feelings with them, being open and vulnerable, and trusting that person not to hurt you emotionally. Though it could happen. When you find that you are spending a lot of time together in a relaxed environment you will find opportunities for sharing feelings and talk openly about things. One thing that nourishes the emotional connection is cuddling. I am not talking about sexual touching but non-sexual touching and physical closeness.  We communicate a lot nonverbally.  Hugging, cuddling, touching, holding your partner – these things all express your feelings for him or her without saying a word.

When two people spend quality time together, sharing, caring, nurturing, and loving, an emotional attachment is formed.  If this continues overtime, the bond created becomes deeper and stronger. It will almost feel as if they have known each other all their lives.

An emotional connection fuses souls and strongly ties two hearts together, making individuals inseparable.  When a person is able to feel your heartaches, that constitutes an emotional connection. When kind words are used to uplift each other, then there is no question as to what it is.  It is, indeed, an emotional connection, and no other feeling in this world could compare.

In the event of two available individuals, two that are not attached in a marriage or other relationship, it should be highly valued.  Love is the end result of such unified bond. A bond which can withstand the test of time, and continue to live on long after individuals are gone.

Life is too short to ignore chances that come your way.  I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. There is no such thing as a flukes. It wasn’t chance you met this person or that.  They are in your life for a season or for a life time.  Only God knows and it is God who you have to trust to get you through.

So what do you do, when love comes along and offers your heart a chance to move on?

I always sign the end of my e-mails or any communication with the word, Blessings.  I sign it like that because my hope is that the reader will have them in their life.

What is a blessing? According to the Webster Dictionary a blessing is God’s favor and protection. It is a prayer asking for such a favor and protection; a beneficial thing for which one is grateful; something that brings well-being.

What is blessed? It is something made holy; consecrated; living a holy life.

We can turned to the book of Matthew and read what Jesus said about the blessed. The fact that God spoke these words to us is a blessing to me.

Matthew 5:3-12 KJV

v3. Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

v4. Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.

v5. Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth.

v6. Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled.

v7. Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercey.

v8. Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God.

v9. Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.

v10. Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness’ sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

v11. Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.

v12. Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.

Tell me something? In our day and time, how are men reviling you, persecuting you and saying all manner of evil against you falsely, for Jesus Christ sake? Is the persecution coming from those that see you living a different lifestyle, by the way you dress, talk and behave? Are you made fun of or talked about in a way because others think you are in bondage and not free? Is the persecution by hearing that people are saying things behind your back because you won’t do what they do, like go out to bars and parties and drink?

We are persecuted for trying to live a righteous (right) life from what our convictions are and what the Word of God says. We are to count it joy! When you have Jesus Christ, the ways of the world are no longer your ways. You really will stand apart from what the world considers normal. You really do start to change the way you have behaved, spoken, dressed, etc…

One of the things that I was convicted on was my language. I was cursing a lot and now when I feel it coming on, I try so hard not to let it pass through my lips. Yes, it is in my mind but I reject it. One day it won’t come to mind.

Another thing is reading romance novels. I use to say I had to get romance somewhere but these novels can become very graphic and you are watching this in your mind. You fantasize about something that isn’t real and then in real life you are disappointed because you want what was the thoughts of someone else’s mind. We like to read to get away from our reality and get caught up in someone else’s. Even though it isn’t real or maybe it is.

I got rid of all the iPhone applications I had that was gossiping about the movie stars and musicians. What someone else says about someone might not be the truth and you are making a judgement based on someone else’s opinion. There is no way for you to walk up to Brad Pitt and ask if it’s true. Some people think that if the actor or actress isn’t suing the magazine or saying something in return, that it must be true. But those actor and actress’ have managers who want the chaos because it keeps their client in the public eye. It is attention, even if it is negative attention. My point is we want our mind to be pure in thoughts and feeling love toward others. Not reading something and thinking how awful it is and us becoming judgmental. I would read it because I thought my day had gone bad so let me see if there is someone whose day was worse than mine…yep, I am doing better than Brad Pitt and he is famous! Shame on me!

We all have our own convictions once we ask Jesus to be Lord of our life and ask Him to forgive us of all the ugliness we have done to ourselves and others and against Him. We then are baptized as an obedience to follow what He asked us to do, in the name of Jesus. It’s an outward expression of what has happened on the inside. Our sins have been washed away. We rise out of the water, clean in Spirit, mind and body.

So my question, dear friend, is: blessed… are you?

Galatians 5:22,23

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control. Against such things there is no law.

This is the fruit that we need to renew in the Spirit. When you have the Spirit, which is the Holy Ghost, He will produce this fruit in you. It is up to you whether to share it or not. To be honest, you will want to share it.

Sometimes, when I have been hurt, talking from my experiences, I tend to hold certain things back. Like joy, peace, kindness and self control.  It is the best thing, even though it can be hard, to forgive immediately when you have been hurt. Don’t let the sun go down on your anger.  If you do it will start manifesting itself and become very ugly.

The Bible is here for us to learn how to make our life much better.  John 20:31 tells us why the Bible was written: “But these things are recorded so that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God and that by believing you may have life in His name.” Living in the world can be very hard and can ultimately cause you to go against all that was written in the Bible, to go against God. What is living in the world? What are the examples? The acts of the sinful nature are obvious:

Galatians 5: 19-21

…sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery, idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

A lot of people think these things are fun. Going out and partying and getting drunk and just having a good time. Sure, I was there. But when you are drunk you aren’t all there. You are open to all kinds of things that can come into your space and lead you astray. I have heard on shows or from women or men that when they did something wrong, it was because they were drunk. What’s the song by Jamie Fox, Blame it on the Alcohol? In order to change myself, I have to know that I need to change. You will know deep within if you need to make some changes. The next step is to ask for help from the Helper. He will not turn you away.

Jealousy can lead to fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, envy, discord, etc…  How can we live a life that is pleasing to God? What would that life look like to you? I think if I live for Christ, He will send His Holy Spirit to help me live right. Everyone has the choice to either listen or ignore the Spirit. I try to always listen but there are times my own self will wants something more. In those times, my life then becomes chaotic and a lesson is then learned. I need to ask for forgiveness, not be full of pride and keep walking.

So to get your fruit renewed in the Spirit, sit down in a quiet room and have a chat with the Lord Jesus Christ. You can have a chat. He already knows your every thought. Just talk with Him and let Him know you are ready to make a change in your life and you need Him.  Deep down we all want this, it’s just that our pride gets in the way of humbling ourselves or admitting that we need someone else, especially someone you can’t see with the physical eye. But believe me, you will feel Him and hear Him!

I pray that your fruit will be renewed in the Spirit right now!

“And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.”   Hebrews 10:24-25

For many years I have neglected meeting together with my brother and sisters in Christ.  It became my habit and one that I couldn’t seem to break. My family seemed to fall in this trap with me. I call it a trap because we seemed to not be able to escape what was in our minds that was keeping us from forgiving offenses in our life, which caused us not to want to be around other Christians.

It is so easy to be offended by others and let everyone know about it.  When I was hurt, I wouldn’t wait until the kids were out of the room, I would do it there. They would see me crying because I was hurt and ask what was wrong and I would tell them. Not in a vindictive way but in a pathetic way. I was hurt. By letting my kids see this and know who offended me, they drew their own conclusion and opinion of those in question.

As the years passed, the dust on the Bible accumulated. We went as a family to different churches but I couldn’t leave fast enough. I was still hurt. I didn’t want to open my heart to anyone again. It was so hard. The churches we visited were so open and welcoming but I was closed off. I didn’t want to get involved in any ministries, I just wanted to be…

The Lord saw my hurt and carried me through the years…

I thought for a moment that I might be one of the sisters that had fallen away and their heart becomes harden and can’t find her way back. I was so worried about not being close to the Lord but then a friend’s face entered my mind. I started calling her and meeting with her. Slowly the ice was melting away. I let someone in.  I started opening my Bible and went to a woman’s conference that opened my heart to those sisters around me. I found the joy in the Lord and forgave the offenses that I had against others. It felt like a huge weight was taken off my shoulders.

Something like scales had fallen off my eyes and I could see again. I could see others and feel love for them. I wanted to be around other brothers and sisters in Christ, to meet with them and fellowship. I was reborn!

It feels so good to have sisters that meet with you and want to pray with and for you. To have a Pastor that cares about your soul and preaches what the Lord puts on his heart.  If feels indescribable to be able to have the freedom of worship, true freedom, where you don’t have to worry about someone else watching you, your focus is all on Jesus, not anything else. How the Spirit of the Lord moves throughout the worship and sermon. To be able to be in a service and not think about what things you have to do that day but think about the message and the Lord.

It is wonderful to have a meeting place to go to.

This is my daughter on her webcam.  She doesn’t wear make up, which is surprising to me. Neither of my girls wear make up.  I am amazed, coming from the generation that I am in and being around the make up I was around, that my girls didn’t feel the need to wear it.

When I was younger I would sit and watch my Momma put on her make up and wish I would be like her when I grew up.  She did the wigs and everything. I just loved it all.  I had the magazines that showed me how to put on makeup, etc… I did wear a lot of it.  I hid behind the make up.  I didn’t want people to see who I really was underneath.

I am so blessed that my girls don’t feel the need to put make up on. That they recognize their natural beauty without all the other stuff.  It is freeing. Why do we feel we have to wear make up?  I still wear it today but it’s a habit that I have had for over 20 years. It’s part of my life. Believe me, I don’t wear it like I use to.

I think the world of glamour and beauty is what caused me to want to do it. I wanted to look like those women in the magazines. I believe that is called envy, possibly. Plus we all know that men are visual. Women attract men by the way they look. I got my man. He likes me to wear make up when we go out to special events but loves me just as much without it. I do love the way my face feels when it is clean.

I asked my daughter why she doesn’t wear make up and she said that she knows that when she wears it, it clogs her pores and she wants her face clean. She doesn’t want to have big pores when she is older.  That is one thing that both my Mom and I have had a problem with, bigger pores. My Mom’s has shrunk some with age, as well as her height (Love you Momma) and I am using cleaning products to try and help with that issue.

Mally Beauty has a product that minimizes the pore appearance, which I bought and it does work: Perfect Prep Poreless Primer. It has a silky feeling and you don’t even know it is on.

If you haven’t thought about it, possibly wearing make up is second nature to you, think about it and let me know why you wear make up or don’t wear it. I would love to hear the different responses I will get.

Growing up, I saw the way people treated their animals. Some let them inside the home and some didn’t allow the animals inside but had them outside for guarding purposes. A close family member at one time mentioned that animals didn’t have feelings so they just treated them however they wanted to.

I have seen on the local news how pet owners treat their animals, whether it be chaining them to a tree or leaving them out in the winter months or having them trained to attack other animals, which is illegal. I’m here to tell you that animals do have feelings! Looking at those examples, humans treat other humans the same way. People have been chained to something to work or stand guard, people have been left outside in the winter months, people have been trained to do bad things to others. Are we really that much different? read More >

Well, I was raised Southern Baptist and accepted Jesus Christ as my savior on March 25, 1985. I was 14 and had my baptism that following month on Easter Sunday. I was baptized in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. What is that name? What is the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit? When we are baptized “in the name” isn’t that singular? It doesn’t say “names”.

So, I was going through some of my journals and I came across one of my writings that I wanted to share. read More >

First of all this was one movie that I really didn’t know much about because I didn’t watch any previews or trailer clips. If you haven’t heard of it, click on the video above and watch the preview.

I must say that I think this is the best movie I have seen that can touch everyone, no matter what you like.  For instance, there are Star Trek fans but others won’t go watch it if they aren’t interested in Star Trek or never watched it as a kid or adult. You might be lost in that film if you don’t know who James T. Kirk is or Spock. But with this film, WOW!  The graphics and story line keep you from falling asleep even though it is a long movie.

It is in 3D and I was told from many on my Facebook when I asked about it, that 3D is the way to go! Well, some people might get motion sickness because of the action and movement that is in this film. If you don’t get motion sickness, then you should be fine and it would be one heck of a movie to watch in 3D!  In my family I have some that get motion sickness, so we didn’t watch it in 3D and we went to the 9 pm showing. We were in our car at 11:50 going home, so it is about a 2-1/2 hour movie.

I don’t want to say too much about the movie. The video above says all you need to know, to go and see it.  I have noticed that in previews, whatever you see is usually the only best parts of the movie but with this one, there is so much more that is good that isn’t in the preview.

Leaving last night I thought that James Cameron is smart! Who wouldn’t want to watch a film and be happy for the man, who is in the wheelchair, to be able to run again? This movie is perfect for everyone. There is hardly any cursing, that I can remember, and there isn’t any nudity scenes.

So, out of all the movies I have scene this year for 2009, Avatar is the best, hands down! Go see it!!

Merry Christmas from my family to yours! Enjoy your day with the ones you love or remembering them if they aren’t able to be with you.

I got up early this morning due to a cold I have been fighting. Early, as in 4:30 a.m. and everyone is still sleeping. There was a time when I would be in bed and little feet would run into the bedroom and jump on our bed, waking us up yelling, “Santa came!” That was when they were 4, 5, and 6 years old. Here they are 15, 16, 17 and sleeping all snug in their bed, away from the coldness I am feeling on my toes as I sit by the fire.

Now I am the one running in bedrooms and yelling, “Santa came!” How the roles change, huh?!

Have a Merry Christmas! Oh, and “SANTA CAME!!!!!”

I remember seeing the previews to this movie and thinking I want to see it! It just came out on rentals and last night while I was laying in bed feeling sick as a dog, I decided to watch this movie called, UP.

First, I have to say that the cartoon characters or would they even be called cartoon, maybe vector? Anyway, these characters are awesome! The facial expressions of Ellie makes you think you are really looking at a child and recognizing each thought as it comes across her face.

It is something how we are put together with the people in our life.  We don’t mistakenly come across someone’s site or bump into them.  I believe everything happens for a reason and if you are here reading this, it was meant for you to get to know me and my writings! If you comment, then it was meant for me to get to know you, otherwise I wouldn’t know who is reading. I couldn’t help but be reminded of, when little Carl met Ellie, how I met my husband.  I didn’t meet him in an old run down abadoned home like the beginning of their story but I did meet him at a gas station at 3 am on my Junior Prom night!  You don’t “just happen” to be somewhere and meet someone that will change the course of the rest of your life. I think it is a divine intervention! At least with my case it was.

So, Carl always wanted adventure!  Don’t we all remember a time when we wanted an adventure?  To watch this movie and see Carl grow old and not achieving his adventure with the love of his life beside him brought tears to my eyes.  Then life knocks at the door introducing Russell, the little over weight boy scout, who was trying to earn his last badge by helping a Senior Citizen.  How many of us help Seniors out today without something in return?  One day we will be a senior citizen and I hope that I am approached by someone young for their help.  It will make me feel like I am still here to do something in my life. Even though I am old and can’t get around a room without a cane that has tennis balls on the bottom legs.  These days it seems like they are treated with an air of “You don’t know what your talking about” kind of like how it was for us as parents when our children are becoming the age that everything we say or do is wrong and they are right. Seniors might be completely gray and look like q-tips as you are driving behind them but they are still young at heart, not ready to give in to being old or treated that way.  They still want to feel important, not feel as if they are a burden to society.  Especially in this fast paced one we live in now.

I would encourage everyone to sit down with their family or just by yourself like I was last night and watch this movie.  It will make you laugh, cry and want to call your Grandparents to tell them you love them or make you cry harder cause you miss them and can only say it to yourself! Then again, it might help you to learn to have patience with the elderly when you see them walking slowly across the pedestrian walk way in front of Wal-Mart or when you are behind them on the road and they are going slowly!  They aren’t going slow to get on your nerves. They might be having a hard time seeing or they might just be nervous in the fast pace race we are all running.  We could probably learn a few things from our elderly, like to slow down and enjoy life.  There are so many of our senior citizens that are like toddlers, spending most of their time in daycare, which is retirement homes.

This movie will also remind you of what your dreams were and if you are still young, go for it because you aren’t getting any younger. Time goes by and it seems it is going by faster every year. If you are thinking you are too old, help someone else achieve it. Or better yet, still try if the desire is there to achieve your dreams.  UP shows you that you are never too old and it is wonderful having someone beside you to share it, no matter who it is.

Life is still going on and there are people out there that are going through what you went through and it would be nice to have a mentor to help them get through the hard times. That mentor could be you! No matter what your age! So if you “run into someone” or if someone knocks on your door like our boy scout Russell did, give them the time of day. You wanted it at one time, remember that?

So many life lessons. Rent UP today!

What a wonderful movie!  I am by no means a cook and my husband would waste no time admitting that fact but one thing I learned from this movie, is that I am much like Julia Child.  Watching her trying to find something to do with her life while her husband worked was exactly what I have done.  Her passion was right in front of her and it didn’t click until after trying to become a hat maker, a bridge player and I am sure much more that we don’t know about.  The one thing she loved was eating French food.  She wanted to learn how to cook french style but there wasn’t any cook book teaching in english.  So, she took french language classes thinking she would be able to read the cook book and eat french cuisine. After a time, she decided to go to a french cooking school.

Some movies make you wish you never watched them and wasted the 2 hours of your life on nonsense.  This movie was a definite joy and made me look back on my life and see where I am now.  We all have a passion for something and it could be staring us right in the face. Mine is writing.  I don’t have a problem putting words on paper. It comes fairly easy and I love coming up with ideas that would possibly get the attention of the reader.

Watching Julie write every day for a year was inspiring.  To actually follow through on something that took a year, especially cooking recipes that don’t look easy to make, that was awesome.  She was faithful in her posting on her blog and it took months but she started to get readers and comments, which are hard to get.  That is what I plan on doing, being faithful to my Diaries of a Fruitcake and to my readers.

This movie is one to see.  I watched it off of Netflix.  The name, Julie & Julia.

I don’t know about you but I am thinking about doing the black friday shopping for the first time in my life.  I have been reading the articles in the local paper here and it is starting to kind of scare me.  Hearing about people who are crazy enough to snatch a little elmo doll out of a child’s hand and then that same man being beaten in the parking lot for his actions.  It sounds like crazy animals and long lines.  Are you brave to shop early?  If so, let me hear of your experiences with Black Friday!

I will be updating if I decide to venture out.

For the last day of 2008, while my husband and teenage son were on the first row, in the end zone watching Vanderbilt play against Boston College in the Music City Bowl, I took my teenage girls to a movie. We decided to watch Marley & Me in the Governors Square Mall off Wilma Rudolph Blvd. I had heard that the ending was sad, so I didn’t really want to go see this one but we did.

I was pleasantly surprised by a crazy, insane dog that liked to tear up the house and eat the furniture, even the floor! It made me think, “This dog is special. Not all animals are like this.”

They got their ‘clearance puppy’ as the next step after their marriage, instead of babies. It reminded me of my husband and I when we got married. Our first addition to the Agnew clan was Cocoa, a deer chihuahua. With long legs and big ears, she looked like a rat as a baby but grew into her own. She was so faithful and loyal but not very obedient, which led to her death. She was 8 years old.

We had left on my Grandpa’s tractor to go fishing, (this is in Alabama) and Cocoa was in the fenced-in yard but somehow got out to try and follow us (so we assume, we didn’t see her). When we got back she was hiding in some bushes. We had thought she got hit by a car and took her to the Vet immediately. As we were waiting for the results of the x-rays, I was looking through her coat and saw teeth marks and that is when we realized she was attacked by a big dog, according to the markings. The Vet gave us some pain medicine for her but she died the next morning in our arms. It was very hard to let go of our first addition to our family. Because of my experience, I could associate with the characters and their feelings with their “baby”.

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