Every since I was a little girl I have always been what some would call a “loner”. I never followed the crowd or trend. I was my own person…making my own path. I never liked being under someone’s authority or doing what someone told me to do. (Aren’t all children that way?)
As I grew up I became more secluded. I didn’t go out and party with the rest of the teenagers, I stayed home with the parents or grandparents reading romance novels or watching t.v. and eating popcorn. When I was asked out I was too scared to go because of the stories I was told about how the real world was. I felt safer inside the confines of four walls. Well, until my Senior year in High School but I didn’t do much then either.
Just recently I was told that I acted like a teenager who never got the chance to experience life. It was an interesting statement that made me think and kinda feel sorry for myself. Here I am, forty years old, and I have actions that are that of a teenager learning what life is all about.
What is “life”?
According to the dictionary life is defined as an account of the series of events making up a person’s life; the course of existence of an individual; the condition of living or the state of being alive. BUT, and that’s a big “but”, I am happy that I am forty and acting like a teenager. It brings youth back. I get to experience all the ups and downs that teenagers experience but with a mature mind and to be frank, appearance. 
Even though it’s with a mature mind, it sometimes stinks though.
In the Word of God, Romans 12:2, Paul talks tells us not to be conformed to this world. He calls out for us to be a separate people. Just like the picture above, all the umbrellas are one color except for one. Are you that one in your job, in your church, in your family, in your friends lives?
This past sunday I had the blessing of being at CAC to hear Pastor Henderson talk about a “Call to Separation”. (If you have never been able to experience the preaching and music from this family, you should try coming to Calvary Apostolic Church and visit. I drive 3 and 1/2 hours to go and I can tell you it’s worth the drive, though if my car could talk it would be saying something different .)
We are called to be separate from the world. This is the whole reason why I started Diaries of a Fruitcake. To share my journey to be separate and to help other women put both feet on the right side of the fence. Each person needs to decide what is the “right side” for them. The Word of God will help you make that right choice but the journey will be hard because you will have to die to yourself daily.
When we make the choice to follow Christ and be an example, others will see your life and wonder what makes you different. It was that way for me. My neighbor was different in her appearance. She didn’t wear jeans or pants, she always wore skirts. She didn’t wear make up but her face glowed with something I wanted. Her hair, long and beautiful, was something that wasn’t dyed or permed, just natural. All of these things made me wonder why she didn’t look like everyone else. So I asked. I went over and introduced myself and we sat on her front porch talking about why she looked like she did.
That conversation started a spark in me to help her be liberated. LOL. I was going to find in the Word of God where she might have misinterpreted and free her from the bondage I thought she was in. Little did I know that in my search I would be the one liberated and free from the bondage that the world puts on women. I began an in-depth study of the Word of God and I couldn’t get enough. It started making sense to me where once things were confusing when I would hear it from the pulpit. I would question and be told, “Oh, that doesn’t apply to us today.” But in the Word, God says He never changes. (Malachi 3:6) We are the ones who change.
So, for those of you who have seen my outer appearance change, don’t feel sorry for me or think that I am depressed. I dress professional and I try to look nice at all times. I just don’t look like I use to.
Before
After
I had over $400 in make up and skin care and was buying over $100 for one pair of jeans at Buckle. (I had 3 pairs.)
Now I don’t wear pants because of MY convictions and I don’t wear make-up or dye my hair blonde anymore. I want to be a natural beauty, not one that is man made.
I know that there are many women out there that wish they could let go of the routine of putting on their face every morning. They wish they could just fix their hair and go. I remember feeling that way. It’s amazing how differently I’m treated when wearing a dress or skirt compared to wearing pants. It’s a positive difference. I am finding I no longer think about putting on a skirt, it is just part of me now. The make-up is still having an affect on me, especially when I want to look really good but I have people around me that tell me I am beautiful without it. I just gotta start believing it.
If you would like to share your journey, please email me. We can keep each other encouraged. If you are tired and want to start living freely, email me and I can share my story.
